Share the Sun
Mar 09, 2023
“What if we decided that successful parenting includes working to make sure that all kids have enough, not just that the particular kids assigned to us have everything? What if we used our mothering love less like a laser, burning holes into the children assigned to us, and more like the sun, making sure all kids are warm?”-Glennon Doyle
Parenting is challenging, especially now…
All families and their kids have the power to see who they truly are, to find their greatness.
But they cannot do it alone. Not even within just one family unit can they achieve this.
How can we reflect on our current community to build resilient families and kids? How can each of us come together to achieve this? No matter your school, neighborhood, economic status, religious beliefs, cultural perspective and other demographics, we can develop these goals through shared experiences and relationships TOGETHER!
But first we must reflect on our current reality, what are our kids learning through their current experiences?
1. Emotions are Contagious
The brain is hardwired to scan for negativity.
We know that the brain forms from the base up and the oldest part of our brain, our reptilian brain has a sole purpose to keep our body safe. It does this through sensations in our nervous system and scanning our environment for survival.
However, the brain doesn’t always know the difference between danger and discomfort. Therefore it becomes triggered by situations that cause stress that are not predictable in our daily structures and routines.
Today, our world is currently full of chronic stress and unpredictability to what we used to know as “normal.”
We see the world through our environment and then adapt and react to the stimuli in our spaces.
Our current view of reality is distorted however through the media and causes us to become triggered by the negativity we are reading, hearing and seeing.
Because of our brain’s negativity bias we can pull out elements of “danger” before we see the positive in the world today.
Therefore our newsfeeds, tv monitors, conversations and interactions are flooded with gossip, rumors and assumptions based on other negative views in our environment.
As adults, this is difficult enough to decipher what is true, real and a threat to our brain and body which impacts our behavior.
To kids, this is even more confusing. They are ALWAYS watching US to see how we will respond.
How are we modeling our responses to this emotional negativity loop? How can we break the cycle?
2. The Brain is Malleable
Neuroplasticity tells us that are brain is constantly growing, changing and rewiring based on experiences.
Therefore we have the power to rewire our brain and break the negative loop of emotions that we are experiencing.
It takes intentional, repeated attention to rewire our brain to perceive experiences differently.
This includes intentionally reflecting on what we consume through the media, our interactions and conversations with others and our experiences.
Take a moment to reflect on your experiences today, this week, this month. How many have elicited positive emotions? How many have elicited negative emotions? Some of which you cannot control, but how many ARE within your circle of control?
3. Humans are Hardwired for Connection
We can control the people and situations we expose ourselves and our families to interact with-this is within our circle of INFLUENCE.
Experiences like religious gatherings, birthday parties, sporting events are all ways to build belonging, connection and trust through positive shared experiences within our community.
These build a culture of connection.
Through social media we are constantly scrolling our feed to find the rush of dopamine that makes us smile. say “awe” and laugh. This fills us up! But it takes 5:1 positive experiences to counteract every negative experience!
It is time more now than ever to intentionally seek experiences for our families BEYOND our screens through human connection with OTHERS.
The quote above shares how as a community we can develop a mutual goal to cultivate resilience among ALL our kids by simply modeling the value of relationships and experiences.
What we focus on, grows.
With intentional focus on engaging in experiences that promote positivity through interpersonal and intra-personal skills, kids and their families can cultivate their own resilience!
4. From Intention to Action
Instead of seeking connection primarily through a screen by scrolling our feed on social media to see what our neighbors and community members are up to-why not bring this experience to LIFE in the flesh!
Now more so than ever, we are seeking human connection through face to face experiences.
“Shareshared Experiences” focuses on “sharing the sun” so all kids within our community can feel its warmth-not just those within our own families, inner circles, schools and neighborhoods.
This is an opportunity to expand beyond our “bubbles” and build new relationships with each other and our kids.
Helping us ALL grow, BETTER TOGETHER!
Join me and invite others to our FIRST of many Sunshared Experience on 9/18 from 10-2.
Learn more about register at the link below.
Can’t wait to connect with you soon!
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