Squid Games and Our Kids

“You cannot numb those hard feelings without numbing the positive affects, our emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb those, we numb JOY, we numb GRATITUDE, we numb HAPPINESS

.”BRENE BROWN

Numbing and the Brain

You’ve been living under a rock if you haven’t notice the chaos, stress and trauma our communities have endeavored since March of 2020. Not to mention, even BEFORE 2020 but it is ever more glaringly obvious now. We’ve endured heartache after heartache and each time we’ve begun to create a protective force field around ourselves. At first it was the response of our nervous system to shield us from future potential “danger.” Danger might have meant real-life TRUE dangerous situations-crime, job loss, poverty, health-but danger might also have meant chronic and toxic stress. Overtime, our nervous systems have either become overstimulated and are A)seeking to continue to perpetuate drama and negativity-creating more toxic stress in our environment because subconsciously it feels familiar OR we’ve completely become underwhelmed and B.) NUMB to the chaos around us.

Which one are you?

My husband recently jumped on the band wagon and binged watched the popular Netflix series “Squid Games.” As I caught glimpses and cringed at the violent images unfolding in front of my eyes, I wondered to myself; is this what it’s come to? But at the same time, I’d admit, I couldn’t look away!

Do we have to continue to stimulate our stress response system to feel a sense of “comfort” and entertainment in watching horrific content like this?

Or are we so numb and completely over it all-that we seek something so far removed from our current reality to “turn off” our brains and emotions while we consume media and feel better that our lives could “always be worse?”

What Are We Modeling?

As the familiar children’s game “Red Light, Green Light” unfolded on the screen in front of me and characters were shot and killed across a battlefield, I turned to the doorway and was horrified to see my 7 year old son standing there.

I quickly whisked him away as he asked what we were watching. With a complete guilty conscious, I said it’s “a grown up show.” Conversation…not over…of course. Question and after question ensued and as a parent who believes in sharing vulnerability and honesty with our kids in age appropriate ways, I told him the name of the show. His response-“oh, I’ve heard kids talking about that at school’ and “people play that game on Roblox.”

EXCUSE ME? I bit my tongue before shouting out loud in disgust!

Is this what it’s come to?

The Impact

Of course, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that you’re a terrible person or parent for getting sucked into the hype of this show and others like it, I’m guilty of it as well. However, let’s take a moment to really reflect on the impact of this conflict between seeking chaotic stimulation OR numbing ourselves to our current reality.

The quote above by Brene Brown shares that when we numb ourselves to negative, uncomfortable and “dangerous” emotions-we aren’t only blocking out the negative-we are also building that force field up against the POSITIVE emotions we could have the opportunity to experience. Such as joy, gratitude and happiness.

Are we aware of the environment we are creating for ourselves, our families and our kids?

Are we surrounding ourselves around constant toxicity through social media, TV, the news and what we read?

If so how can we be mindful and set limits for ourselves and those that we interact with?

Now What?

I challenge you to do some self reflection here. What needs are you seeking to be met when you scroll through your newsfeed? When you gossip with a colleague at the copy machine? When you fixate on the fact that your 9 year old is sitting on the bench during her soccer game?

Yes, there’s a time, place and safe space in relationships for venting and transparency. But when do you cut it off and focus on JOY, GRATITUDE and HAPPINESS?

Because unless you’ve also been living under a rock since March of 2020, we have a lot of POSITIVE celebrations to shine light on as well.

But what you shine a light on is what you focus and value as most important.

What you water, GROWS.

How are you spending your time?

Who is watching?

Watch Squid Games…fine…but then UNPLUG, look around you—-STIMULATE your nervous system by truly taking a moment to be present.

What do you see? SMILES on your kids’ faces

What do you hear? “Thanks so much” and “It’s so good to see you!”

What do you smell? Autumn bonfires gathered around by friends and family

What do you taste? Apple cider and pumpkin flavored everything

What do you touch? Elbow bumps, healthy hugs and snuggles

Don’t continue to feed into the drama, negativity and toxic stress-we’ve got enough of that already.

But don’t let yourself go numb either.

Seek intentional opportunities for JOY, GRATITUDE and HAPPINESS.